Mrs Ngaire Chambers
HELLO YES I'M MRS NGAIRE CHAMBERS.
I'm a proud Grandma, a FANTASTIC Sunday school teacher and YES, it's true, I'm a former Miss Te Awamutu beauty queen (It's absolutely true! Long time ago I know but it happened!) My goodness. What else? I have a GORGEOUS garden full of the most beautiful roses, I love a bit of a drink and I hate being owed money.
My friend Jeanie? Jeanie Jones? You know her? Well anyway, she's not really a friend anymore. She owes me for buying her groceries AND some fish and chips AND a packet of smokes AND get this - $10 of bloody petrol bloody money. Outrageous. We're not speaking at the moment. Cheap fuckin bich. I'M READY FOR YOUR APOLOGY AND FOR MY CASH BACK PLUS INTEREST JEANIE JONES. I mean honestly I'm not made of money and you couldn't buy a fucking vowel with the pathetic pension this goddamn government dishes out. Christ on a fucking cross. I need a drink.